Auditions - Ep 6

Okay, let me just start by saying that guy I said looked like my co-worker looks nothing him. I am getting so much flack for that! In my defense, he said it first. He of course meant someone else, but that’s not important right now. They just showed him on the screen again. They look nothing alike.

Where those real special effect sounds? I liked the whispering, “Eccentric”. See, folks like him should really be insulted. Coincidence that the next guy had a silk screened tiger shirt?

Alaina - I thought she was ok. But Simon liked her. He really liked her. Let’s see how he will guide her through the competition

Phong – Her mom looked like she was going to beat her for disrespecting the family. I see bamboo shoots in her future.

Brandon - Nice, smooth voice. A little Jackie Wilson in him.

I can’t forget about the boy who was there last year and made it again this year.

Sherman – I was proud of Simon. He was very nice to this sweet old man who just wanted to sing a song to his lost love on national tv. What a nice send off.

Learn to sing like and Idol?!? I am going to find that CD!

Until next week!

Auditions - Ep 5

Why can’t Paula keep her butt in the chair?!? CRACK ADDICT!!!!

On with the show:

Erica – my dog actually looked at the window when she hit her notes, or I should say, missed her notes. They try to stop them from continuing to make a fool out of themselves.

Katie aka Helium Balloon was good. Sounded good, when she was not talking. That voice man. Simon’s line, “He’s the man with the twitch.” Love him!

Bernard – is really attractive. I like the texture of his voice. Seemed a little mature for the competition. What the @#$@#$% is up with Paula! Hate her now.

I am not going to comment on Big Bird. Absolutely nothing. Did she just lift her shirt?!? Nothing at all.

Jamie – she will go far. She was off-key at times. I think with training she could better. If they show daddy in the wheelchair, I will scream.

Chris Sligh – LOVE HIM!!!! I am voting him all the way. I am dialing now! Great sense of humor, wit. He was sooooo good. He was nervous but definitely did well. Very versatile voice.

Paula is drunk. Paula missing? Hung over!

Ryan’s line of the night: “Victoria, what brings you hair?” Fool.
This is the first time I truly thought Simon was an ass. But he is real. He doesn’t pull any punches for anyone, no matter if their mother was there. He could have said without the low blow.

Nicole – Paula would have let her through, nasal singer. I liked her voice. I think she has talent. Didn’t she look JUST like chick from Desperate Housewives?!?

Brandi - She sounded better on the tile.

Next season, I do want to see more of the good people. They should at least TRY it and see if it’s good tv.

Anyway, until next week.

Auditions - Ep 4

Sorry y’all. I had to work last night so I couldn’t even watch the show. So I watched it right now. Boy was it good!

The first guy was Ultra New York. Yuck! And I don’t even want to hear it Easterners! You feel the same way when you hear one of use Westies talk.

The girl who lied to her father…I was crying like a baby. I am so tired of these sob stories.

Ashanti was good but she is not right for this competition. She is like an older Raven (from That’s So Raven fame). That is soooo cold blooded. Setting her pleas to melodramatic music. “Well, these three are Americans”. Line of the night. Was she looking for the hook? I know I was.

The 2^nd BFF was WAY better. Hey wonder if Paula liked her with all her head swinging and snapping fingers? Please someone put Paula down.

“You work in a bank, uh..is that fun?” Can’t stand her!!! Was the snapping off beat worse than his singing? Uh…no.

2^nd Line of the night, “1 problem, no emotions”. You could still hear her screaming in the background when Ryan was talking.

Jenry - AKA Hot Chocolate. Way Too hot not to be in the competition. I need eye candy this year. ERRRR!!!! Sixteen! Uhh, I say no. Perverted Justice did you hear me? Dateline? I said no.

I might not be able to recognize a star, but I can recognize a planet. Nakia was a little too much. Cowell would have never let her through. Thankfully she sang again and blew it. Uh, was that Paula licking herself like a cat? Really? REALLY?!?

Jory – Cowell is such a lecherous dog. She was good. Perky breast don’t hurt.

Porcelina aka Rocky – was more attitude and hips than singing. We will definitely hate her. Definitely. If she even makes it past Hollywood, we will vote her off first week,

Rachel – Opera Girl – had an excellent voice. Versatile. Good control and range. I liked her Alanis Morissette type feel. She was like different people. She was a bit overbearing and young. It will hurt her. But glad she will be around.

I liked Nicholas. And not like other people who come back. He was humble and seemed like he would really try and work hard.

\There are definitely a lot of good singers this year. I am excited about the next real rounds. I think it’s a lot peoples’ spots to lose. We shall see. C-Ya!

Auditions - Ep 3

Frank Byers (cheer coach) – Voice was too affected. He can sing but I agree…cabaret. I love the horn, wah-wah-wah.

Cat fight, rrrraaarreee (see how I did that, the word rare, stretched out is the cat fight sound. Go ahead, try it.)

Timika Sims - She was…hmmm. And those contacts didn’t fit at all! A little creepy.

Chris Rivera – You knew the minute he spoke. Wow! Embarrassing.

Alexis (aka Gums) – The earrings clinging sounded better.

Sundance Head – Very, very good. Strong voice, bravado, can be soulful and a little bit of rocker. I like him. But how long before they shave his chest and beard?

Wandera Hitchye – Are they passing out contacts at the door? They already had a Fantasia. She can sing…but they are right. I probably woudn’t vote for her to be the next idol. She of course proved their point by the angry tirade.

Travis McKinnley – Your own song? BAD sign.

Danielle McCulloch – A blonde Kathleen McPhee. Simon likes her looks. Period.

Christopher McCain – Wasn’t Footloose a dancing movie? ‘nuff said. Good sense of humor though.

Janita Burks - Confidentiality – Confidenciality. New word English teachers. She was dressed just right…if it were a baby got back contest. I thought this was a family show?

Sean Michel (aka Fidel) – Good voice. He will never make it past Hollywood. He seems a little too deep for the show. Uh oh. Okay, I’m sorry…anyone who does, “Superstar!” is not that deep.

Melinda Doolitte – First note she was blowing the house down. Background singers can blow! But that confidence factor is going to kill her. Why she was even concerned that she was THAT good is going to be an issue. Like LaToya London, can’t just be good, gotta have IT.

Robert Lee Holmes – Anyone who talks with their eyes closed….trouble. I think he over annunciates words to get his lips over that cracked tooth? I am going to end this attack of him with a period.

That’s all! C-ya tomorrow!

Auditions - Ep 2

Paula needs to follow Lindsay Lohan into rehab. Why do they continue to pretend her behavior is normal?!? Oh well….on with the show.

Jennifer, aka The Hotness…and my new name for her, The Botox, was painful. She should have kept the gum in her mouth. She starts off our drinking game tonight.

Tonight's Drinking Game Tally:
Angry tirade: 2
Curse word tirade: 2
Simon’s a “insert insult”: 5
When’s the last time Paula ‘insert insult”:

Amy, stay at home mom, she has the support of her 6 year old…so go for it! Making life decisions with her kid not her husband? Hmmm….bad sign. They are killing us this year….sob story after sob story and the people are terrible! Add to that, her making a fool of herself on national TV! Camera zoom…won’t leave!!! Ouch!

Darwin, aka Meisha, exactly where did her breasts start and stop?!? The most interesting part was her putting the sign on her chest. It’s really too much. I won’t go into anymore about them…too obvious.

Tommy Daniels, good, but I think it is also because he is different, better than most they had seen in Seattle. I look forward to see him in Hollywood against some of the other guys.

Blake, Mr. Beat Box, I kind of liked him but agreed with Simon...over the top. We want a singer, not necessarily a performer…and a street performer at that. But I am glad they gave him a shot. Dad almost made me cry…so sweet.

I am not going to attempt to type the Indian kids names, how about aka Samji and Simi?
There they go “Shyamali Malakar”. Not to be racist, but why couldn’t Paula pronounce that?!? Don’t she got some Indian in her? I can pronounce Laquandisha. Anyway…she .is definitely going to go far on the cute factor. She is going to have to push herself though.

And now her brother, “Sanjaya”. Cute.. I liked him better too. His voice was smooth, crisp, fresh. And that attitude she threw out there! Watch, it girlfriend. We, the voters will put you in your place.

Rudy, I liked that Venezula style.

So…you think I am going to go there about the 2 BFF’s (Best Friend’s Forever for you non-computer geeks). Well, I’m not. I am only going to say that the first one probably would be compared to 2^nd troll from the left in The Leprechaun. Damn! Simon called him a bush baby. So true.
Okay…truth time. They thought they were cool. I think I am cool. Will someone please tell me if I am as bad as them?!? Please!!! How do they NOT know? We will see them again at the finale doing some stupid skit!

Chapman Choo Choo…They bum rushed him! I took pity on him because he obviously had some sort of stroke or Bell’s palsy.

Anna, aka giraffe, was not good enough. She got it because she is tall.

Jordin Sparks, is my absolute favorite so far. Final 12. Between her and the curly haired chick yesterday, the winner, if a girl will have curly hair. And they said that in the gossip pages.

And finally, I absolutely love my co-worker R. G. HOWEVER if his twin was not that last guy at the audition...oh my gosh! R.G. you are way better looking, cooler, normal and an overall great guy. But dude! That was the dark side of YOU!

Until next week....

Season Premiere!!!!

It’s back! Ameeeeeeerriiiiiiiiican Idol!

Dude were you crying with that first girl?!? They milked that crap! But it was oh so good. I liked how they went old school (Season 1) and really focused on the contestants. Nice touch.

Now the bad people are really dumb. They waited HOURS to be on tv to just suck?!? Stupid!

Line of the night:

Simon: "Jessie, you just murdered 3 songs in a row."
Jessie: (singing) "We…"
Simon: "4."

New drinking game.
Take a drink: Angry tirade.
Take a drink: Curse word tirade.
Take a drink: Simon’s a “insert insult”.
Take a drink: When’s the last time Paula ‘insert insult”.

Denise, aka Crack Baby, did a good job with her song. I haven’t seen Dreamgirls so I will have to see how Jennifer Hudson did it. But I remember Jennifer Holliday from the original Dreamgirls…so we shall see. Good attitude though.

Shakira…er..Paula was not good. She will be gone in Hollywood. She will not make it. And Simon, “keep celebrating.” Such a whore.

Dana, Ingle-Hood, is definitely in love with her boss. He gives her fever. Oh yeah!

Matt, California Dreamin, is going to make many a 13 year old girls fall in love. Pretty eyes, he needs to keep his eyes open. He talks like Matthew Broderick.

GI Jane…not sure yet. I will hold judgement for now. Of course husband, army etc will get in the way somehow.

Sarah, curly haired girl, Final 12 for the girls. But we will learn to hate her.

Moment of the night:
Ryan: Do you think your son has the golden ticket…
The Juggler: F*ck Simon! $#@$%*! #$%@$#%! Paula was so rude! $%@#$%!
(Almost hit Ryan in face with Juggler sticks)

All in all…great first night! Seattle folks look crazy! Can’t wait!

C-ya!

Welcome Back!

A new year, a new season, a new website! I am soooo excited! I went on the Idol boards today. It was great to be back. And the folks at Lost took pity on me and pushed it back an hour. So now I can enjoy both my obsessions.

Check out the 2006 posting. I placed my last discussion about last year's season finale. I was so mean! And thank you to those that didn't clown me about my vocabulary. I didn't replace all of last years' posts. You can find them at: http://groups.myspace.com/JojeeAI.

Good to see you all again and looking for more YOU this year!